Time is Our Relative

As a society, we count on the fact that time is absolute. Our lives revolve around the truth that there is aways 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours a day and so on and so forth. That is a definite. It never changes... or does it? While increments of time is absolute, time itself is actually relative.

Did you ever want something you had to wait for? What about some fun or exciting event you were anticipating? When the end result is a good thing, something you are looking forward to, time seems to slow down. And the more you want to get to that moment, the slower time creeps by. Remember being a kid and knowing you had to get to sleep because whatever was going on the next day was surely going to be the best day of your life? I don’t know about you, but those were always the longest, most sleep deprived hours ever. Pure torture. Of course I would always fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning mere minutes before my alarm would go off. That hour of much needed sleep always went by so fast.

That brings me to the next representation of time’s relativity... The time speed up. Where time seems to drag on when you are wishing it would go quick, quite the opposite is also true. Have you noticed that the more you want to put something off, the sooner its time comes? And when you are in a hurry, is it just me or do the minutes tick by faster and faster? Sometimes I swear that minute hand has wings. And it’s always when I don’t have a second to spare. Take a trip to the doctor for example. The time it takes to drive there speeds by, especially if you are late. But once you walk through the door, boom, time warp. The 30 second minutes you were just experiencing on the way there have now slowed to almost a snail’s pace. Each minute must be at least twice as long as normal. There you sit, surrounded by old magazines with missing pages and a few copies of Highlights. If that’s not an automatic time slower, I don’t know what is.

Einstein said it best, “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” I’m just sayin’.

Cardboard Rectangles of Doom

Boxes, boxes, boxes... I am surrounded. They are everywhere I look. Too bad they aren’t already filled. Some of them aren’t even put together. But full or not, I am encompassed by them none the less. To go along with the scores of boxes, in various stages of completion, are our belongings. Semi organized piles of things we have accumulated over the years, waiting to be sifted through and either stuffed into one of these infernal boxes or discarded. And we can’t forget the chaos. Complete and utter chaos. As you may have guessed, we are moving.

They say there is an art to packing a box to move. I say Michelangelo has nothing to worry about. Obviously I am no artist. So I gather boxes from various stores, find all the newspapers I never got around to recycling, and get to the store to buy packing tape and Sharpies to label things. It should be smooth sailing from there, right? Famous last words.

I carefully gathered my knick knacks from my living room and set out to wrap them for packing. Since we have pets, this in itself can be a challenge. The minute I start to place stuff on the floor, every pet, including the bird, wants to inspect the new items in their domain. After all, these things have never been there before therefore they must be sniffed. So I shoo the dogs, cat, and yes, the bird away from my knick knacks and sit down on the floor to wrap. Now, I am almost 40 years old so I don’t sit on the floor often. That act alone gets the dogs excited. Me sitting on the floor must mean it is extreme petting time. Why else would I be down there with them? Once again I corral my herd away from my work area and set to my chore. As I reach for my first newspaper I noticed (thankfully it was sooner than later) that my bird had taken full advantage of the paper I had set just outside of his cage. At least he knew where to go.

Finally I got the beasts out of the way and set to work. The packing went well and I was quickly on my way to finishing the living room. Just I was reaching for the Sharpies to label the boxes (curse those boxes) and patting myself on the back for a job well done, I saw it. There, sitting next to the markers, silently mocking me and my packing skills, was the packing tape. I had forgotten to close and seal the bottoms of my boxes. Did I mention how much I hate those boxes?

After unloading, taping up and reloading the boxes, I finally got my living room packed. It was time to put them in the spare room with the other, you guessed it, boxes that we had already packed up. As I was trying to organize them by room, I noticed some had been packed and sealed without being labeled. I guess we will have some surprises when we unpack too. In the mean time, here I sit, surrounded by boxes. They are everywhere I look. Too bad they aren’t already filled. I’m just sayin’.

I was sitting at my computer today looking through the headlines and not surprisingly I was inundated with stories about the tragedy in Colorado. I have been following the news stories about the shooting since it happened, feeling helpless and wishing there was something I could do. Then I came across a story about two of the families who lost a loved one. A story about their desire that the media stop using the gunman’s name and turn the focus to the victims.

After learning of these requests, I knew then that I can do something. I can tell you about the victims and I will do it without naming the cowardly gunman. I won’t give him that power. I won’t even give him power by writing about the loss of life. I will empower the victims and their families by writing about how they lived.

Jonathan Blunk was a 26 year old husband and father. He served in the Navy and did three tours in both the North Arabian Sea and the Persian Gulf. Jonathan was a certified firefighter and EMT. He had goals for th the future of re-inlisting and becoming a Navy SEAL.

AJ, Alexander J. Boik, was 18. He was someone who loved to make others laugh. He recently graduated from Gateway High School where he was in orchestra and played baseball. He had a lovely girlfriend whom people expected him to marry some day.

Jesse Childress worked as a cyber-systems operator for the Air Force. He was 29 years old. His friends say was a fun guy to be with. Someone who liked to laugh and had a positive outlook. He was a good friend, and good to have on the bowling team.

At 51, Gordon Cowden was a dedicated family man. Though he lived in Colorado, his family describes him as a “true Texas gentleman’’. He had a wonderful sense of humor, loved travel and the outdoors, and was a business owner.

Jessica Ghawi, who also went by the last name Redfield, was a hardworking, ambitious 24 year old young woman who was pursuing her dream to be in sports journalism. She lived life to the fullest with her vivacious personality.

27 year old John Larimer was the youngest of five siblings who grew up in a suburb of Chicago, Ill. He joined the Navy just over a year ago and was a cryptologic technician where his.  resourcefulness, good character and curiosity made him a good fit in his job.

Matt McQuinn was 27. He was an Ohio native who worked at Target with his girlfriend. They both recently transferred to Aurora. He was a great, outgoing person who put others before himself.

Green Bay Packers fan, Micayla Medek was an independent 23 year old who loved going out with her friends. She worked at Subway and was taking juggling classes at a local community college.

Little Veronica Moser-Sullivan was just 6 years old. She had sweet, lovable personality and brought joy to all who knew her. She had just learned to swim, and was the center of her parent’s world.

Alex Sullivan was celebrating his 27th birthday as well as his first wedding anniversary. He was an avid movie fan and comic book geek, who loved the Mets. He was known as a gentle giant who always had a smile on his face and gave great hugs.

Alexander Teves was 24. He had a passion for life. He competed in Tough Mudder competitions, had a master’s degree  in counseling psychology and interned at a school with special needs children. He was a loyal friend and fun loving guy.

32 year old Rebecca Wingo was a vibrant mother of two. She was a “loving, giving, brilliant soul”. After working in the Air Force for 11 years, she was going back to school to work with foster children who were getting older and ready to age out of the system.


Though it may not be much, I feel I have done a small part in taking power away from a person that deserves none. Too often we sensationalize the perpetrator while the victims get lost in the media hype. I for one, will not give him that privilege. I’m just sayin’.

Zombie Preparedness103: The Long Haul

So we’ve made it, uninfected, through the initial outbreak of the zombie virus. We have survived the fall of civilization as we know it. In the days, weeks, or maybe even months that followed we lost. We lost our friends and families, our jobs, we lost our whole lives. So what now, you ask? It’s time now to hang on, hunker down and strap yourself in. This is the long haul, and I’m sure it will be one heck of a ride.

In order to continue to carry on in a post apocalyptic wasteland filled with the walking dead, you’re going to need these three main things: a group, a game plan and a habitat. I know it’s going to take a lot more than just this to persevere, but these elements are your survival foundation. Without these blocks in place and strong, well, let’s just say the odds may not be in your favor.

It’s hard to say which is needed first, a group or a game plan. It’s like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg. Both are equally important and both need the other to really work well. So, for the sake of argument, let’s say we are gathering our group first. Hopefully at this point you will still have some friends and family left. Your group should be able to get along, and have the same set of goals and values. It is never good when you have to fight one another as well as the zoms. The size of your group is also important. You don’t want to be so large that it is hard to travel and keep up with supplies, but you don’t want to be so small you are dwindled down to nothing after flesh eating walkers have picked off a few here and there.

On to the game plan. The game plan is your structure. The skeleton of your survival foundation. The plan your posse puts into place is what will help guide you through the dark days ahead as well as provide some security. In your game plan is where you will map out a blueprint for survival, assign tasks and other day to day doings, and hopefully establish a code of conduct. The main reason your group and game plan go hand in hand, is that all must agree to insure that things run smoothly.  

Finally you and your entourage will need a place to call home. Your habitat, compound, home base, whatever you want to call it, is important. Without a semi-secure abode to live in, your days will be pretty much numbered. Location and defendability are your two main concerns. Staying out of the main cities is pretty much common sense. Though a city offers a seemingly endless amount of supplies, you must keep in mind, what was once populated in people is now occupied with zombies. A less urban setting such as a farm near a small town with a few stores and a hospital or pharmacy is ideal.

So there you have it folks, my Zompocalypse Survival Study Guide. With any luck, we will never need it, but just in case we do, I hope to see you on the other side.

Zombie Preparedness 102: Know Your Ememy

Last week I wrote about preparing a survival kit to keep handy in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Though a zompocalypse  prep kit is a good start, it will only get you so far. Sure, supplies are necessary, but knowledge is one of your most important tools. After all, as Chinese general Sun Tzu said, “Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.”

So what, exactly is a Zombie? In its broadest sense a zombie is typically a reanimated body who, presumably through death, has lost their sense of identity and self awareness. The zombie’s soul driving desire is the destruction and consumption of any human around regardless of the circumstance or threat to their self. Now that we know what a zombie is, we need to know what type of zombie we have on our hands. Again, knowledge is our tool. We can’t successfully fight off a gang of undead if we are not adequately informed. Zombies tend to fall into three general categories: Supernatural Zombies, Generic Zombies and Zombies of Scientific Origin.

Supernatural or Voodoo zombies have been around the longest and are actually based on religious beliefs. In Haiti and parts of Africa, it is believed the a powerful spell can be placed on a person so that their deceased body is brought back and controlled by the spell caster. These zombies were then used as slave labor or occasionally for acts or revenge. These are not your typical flesh eating zombies. Think more along the lines of Weekend at Bernie’s. The main way to annihilate one of these is to get rid of the person controlling the vessel. But really, these are not what we will be dealing with in a zompocalypse.

Next is the Generic Zombie. The old school Hollywood variety. These zombies are the awkward and slow moving moaners and groaners you see in movies like Night of the Living Dead. They guys will go after anything that moves or makes noise and they tend to travel in mobs. Generic Zombies are typically the result of a virus that brings them back from the dead and is spread to the living via a bite. Though there is really no functioning  brain activity, severing the brain from the rest of the body is the way to dispatch these fellows.

Finally we have the Zombies of Scientific Origin. I find these to be the most frightening of the three, and in my opinion, the ones we will see if there is ever a zompocalypse. These zoms start from a virus caused  by a contaminant or biochemical warfare. They are quicker, stronger and have more brain function than their Generic and Supernatural cousins. Though they are taken out the same as the Generic, this virus is thought to be spread through bodily fluids as well as a bite. They also move in groups and, being higher up on the zombie evolutionary charts, are much more of a threat.

So now that you know your enemy, this should help you if we find ourselves facing a zombie attack. You will need to know more than just these basics to make it through for the long haul and come out alive, but we’ll save that for next time. I’m just saying’.

Zombie Preparedness 101: The Essentials

I’ve seen the movies and T.V. shows. I have been watching the news. I know signs when I see them, and let’s face it people, the writing is on the walls. The zombie apocalypse is coming and it’s nipping at our heels... so to speak. Though the government and the CDC both deny the existence of any impending doom in the form of reanimated flesh eating corpses, I for one am not willing to take any chances. I’m not going to go all Y2K crazy about this, but a small survival kit can be useful to have around for many reasons, not just for enduring an zombie mob.

I’m sure I could go on for hours on what you would need to successfully survive an undead armageddon, but I won’t. The purpose here is to help you gather what you and your loved ones would need to make it through the first couple of days. After that, well you are on your own. So that being said, here’s some items you might want to have stashed away in a safe, easy to get to place. It never hurts to be ready, and these things are important to have ready for any kind of disaster or emergency.

• Water: You will need at least one gallon of water per person per day for no less than three days. That should be enough to cover both drinking and sanitation.
• Non perishable food. Again, enough for three or more days.
• A can opener for the food.
• A first aid kit.
• A flashlight with extra batteries.
• Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties. This is for personal sanitation uses.
• Some way to make a fire, like matches in a waterproof container.
• A whistle to signal for help.
• Local maps.
• A weapon of some kind. You will need it for fighting off the zoms after all, right?

So take the time this year and get a survival kit put together if you don’t already have one. After all, whether it’s a natural disaster or a real zombie apocalypse you can never be too prepared to take on the end of the world. I’m just sayin’.

Independence Day

My family and I love Independance Day. What’s not to love about it? We start the day with parades, move on to a cookout with the fam, and cap it off with an evening of fireworks. A good wholesome day of fun. It is the celebration of the birth of our country. The day the Declaration of Independence, one of our nation’s most cherished symbols of liberty, was adopted. My husband and I, as well as both of our families, are very patriotic. We take great pride in our nation, and July 4th is my day to go overboard!

As I said, in this house we start off with a parade. Usually we like to find the biggest around. If we fail to find a larger one elsewhere, we always have the old standby, a pretty sizable and popular parade a few towns over that my husband’s family has been going to for years. We like it not just because of the size but also the enthusiasm of the crowd. Let’s not forget the cannons they fire and the beautiful steam calliope that marks the end as well.

After the parade is the family cookout at my mother’s house. There we enjoy good friends, good food and great conversation. There is always too much food, and we always eat way more than we should... always. But it’s a holiday, we are surrounded by our loved ones, and the sun is usually shining, so what else are we supposed to do. We eat, we celebrate, we honor our country.

When the noise from the parade is quieted and the cookout has been cleared away, there is only one part of the day’s festivities that remain, the fireworks. The pièce de résistance if you will. The parade is fun, the cookout with my family is entertaining as well, but for me, it’s the town fireworks that are my favorite. I love the music, the vendors, all of it. I love seeing all the flags and the red, white and blue everyone is wearing. I always get choked up when a hush falls over the crowd and the Pledge of Allegiance is said by all. I love my country. And a day of fun, food and family to celebrate it with, well it doesn’t get much better than that. I’m just sayin’.