Zombie Preparedness 102: Know Your Ememy

Last week I wrote about preparing a survival kit to keep handy in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Though a zompocalypse  prep kit is a good start, it will only get you so far. Sure, supplies are necessary, but knowledge is one of your most important tools. After all, as Chinese general Sun Tzu said, “Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.”

So what, exactly is a Zombie? In its broadest sense a zombie is typically a reanimated body who, presumably through death, has lost their sense of identity and self awareness. The zombie’s soul driving desire is the destruction and consumption of any human around regardless of the circumstance or threat to their self. Now that we know what a zombie is, we need to know what type of zombie we have on our hands. Again, knowledge is our tool. We can’t successfully fight off a gang of undead if we are not adequately informed. Zombies tend to fall into three general categories: Supernatural Zombies, Generic Zombies and Zombies of Scientific Origin.

Supernatural or Voodoo zombies have been around the longest and are actually based on religious beliefs. In Haiti and parts of Africa, it is believed the a powerful spell can be placed on a person so that their deceased body is brought back and controlled by the spell caster. These zombies were then used as slave labor or occasionally for acts or revenge. These are not your typical flesh eating zombies. Think more along the lines of Weekend at Bernie’s. The main way to annihilate one of these is to get rid of the person controlling the vessel. But really, these are not what we will be dealing with in a zompocalypse.

Next is the Generic Zombie. The old school Hollywood variety. These zombies are the awkward and slow moving moaners and groaners you see in movies like Night of the Living Dead. They guys will go after anything that moves or makes noise and they tend to travel in mobs. Generic Zombies are typically the result of a virus that brings them back from the dead and is spread to the living via a bite. Though there is really no functioning  brain activity, severing the brain from the rest of the body is the way to dispatch these fellows.

Finally we have the Zombies of Scientific Origin. I find these to be the most frightening of the three, and in my opinion, the ones we will see if there is ever a zompocalypse. These zoms start from a virus caused  by a contaminant or biochemical warfare. They are quicker, stronger and have more brain function than their Generic and Supernatural cousins. Though they are taken out the same as the Generic, this virus is thought to be spread through bodily fluids as well as a bite. They also move in groups and, being higher up on the zombie evolutionary charts, are much more of a threat.

So now that you know your enemy, this should help you if we find ourselves facing a zombie attack. You will need to know more than just these basics to make it through for the long haul and come out alive, but we’ll save that for next time. I’m just saying’.